Editor’s note: You see, what happened was…We at TLF had every intention of getting this done in a timely manner. We were even thinking about doing an audio recording since we were presenting at the Popular Culture Association conference in New Orleans together.(More on that later) But… NOLA:
VO: wakes up and digs self out of pile of beads, wine glasses, fried catfish, Mardi Gras masks, perfume, postcards, pop culture papers and charging cords, before poking at KC AW SHIT! WE FORGOT ABOUT SCANDAL CHAT WHILE WE WERE IN NOLA!
Sorry about being late folks, but the TLF crew was busy partying presenting papers at the PCAS conference in NOLA. Hopefully this belated treat will make up for it. And believe me, Keidra and I ingested many Olivia Pope-sized glasses of wine while talking about this show.
KC: WE REALLY DID TALK ABOUT THE SHOW. We said a lot of great shit that we promptly forgot because we were drinking a bottle of wine.
BUT WE MEANT WELL.
VO: We also learned it’s impossible for us to watch this show together because WE WILL NEVER STOP TALKING.
And here we go —
I like how pragmatic Jake is about Olivia now when they’re in Washington DC. He knows he’s the last on her list while she’s in DC. Probably because he’s the stable thing in her life and she’ll take his poor ass for granted.
KC: Which is really scary because this mofo has shot dudes in the face. And he’s “stable.” Olivia has such awful taste but he really is her best choice. I still don’t know if i trust him completely, his move into needy boyfriend seems… odd. He’s a dangerous guy and now he just seems like Noel.
VO: Cyrus as vegetarian. Now I wish that there was a webisode of his security detail, housekeeping and everyone else grouping together to make Cy a vegetarian. Admittedly I don’t think that it’s doing him favors, because his hair is just weird as hell.
KC: HAS SOMEONE EXPLAINED THIS YET? I know he’s mourning but, there’s something just off about Cy right now. I still feel like Scandal is kind of in Bizarro World right now. Like no one seems “right.” This better not be someone’s dream at the end of the season.
VO: And him blackmailing Olivia is just hilarious. Of course Cyrus would do that to bring Olivia back. I find it funny how he’s using Fitz as leverage against Olivia. And I feel Cyrus and his meat cravings, because I know I get mean if I don’t get a cheeseburger.
KC: I’m actually feeling that way right now.
VO: I find it funny how Quinn and Huck are dressing alike and also are competing for Liv’s attention. The funny thing is that Huck is also talking more, so they’re mirroring each other.
And the couple battling? Why the hell did Olivia put Huck and Quinn on their babysitting duty — oh yeah, because they’re the last two employees Olivia has right now. And when the marriage is worse than the Taliban, why the fuck did they get married?
KC: I think a big Shonda Rhimes trope is that Marriage Destroys Love. I can’t remember the last time a marriage on a Shondaland show – straight, gay, whatever – is just normal and happy.
VO: Ugh. As an old married, I am not going to give illusions about marriage possibly destroying love, but I you know I’m ride-or-die with my husband. I’d like to see more of the “us against the world” thing, but I think that Shonda does deal with one issue — the taking for granted of a person in a relationship and that tension.
Portia de Rossi’s hair continues to be jacked up. Much like Cy’s hair. I think both hairlines are battling for dominance. Or it’s an indication of that they need to get laid or something.
KC: Maybe that’s what’s going on…
VO: OK Mellie. I felt for her this entire episode (well, I’ve always felt for her) and I read stuff where people said her mourning seemed off, which to me was not true, but we all mourn differently. But after this episode, I feel like Mellie was basically holding it off not letting herself mourn. She’s fed up of Fitz the useless baby otter and without a doubt she blames him a bit for what has happened. I wonder if she also blames herself too, given her hand in the whole road to the White House thing. But no matter what, it’s none of anyone’s damn business.
KC: Her mourning made total sense to me. She’s actually one of the few people making sense on this show. What bothers me is that Scandal can really make the American people seem dumb as hell: “Oh the President’s kid gets killed, let’s re-elect him” “Oh no, the First Lady is not mourning correctly, let’s make fun of her” I know we Americans are big old idiots but would we be that callous?”
VO: Given what I see online, I would say yes.
Ah Jake and David. Of course David would get the Attorney General nomination nod pulled. That man is basically the Charlie Brown of this show.
KC: He STAYS losing.
VO: His music now is just that sad “womp”.
The Elliotts are basically Huck and Quinn if they would actually talk to each other. Much like the Elliotts, they work well as a team, but are terrible together as a relationship.
I love Abby and Olivia battling and fights. “INCESTING” that line and Liv’s horrified stare at the table had me howling in NOLA.
KC: Incesting is right. And the Elliots are so a Huck and Quinn avatar couple. Not even subtle. I don’t know why people hate Abby. She always makes more sense than other people. Even when I dislike her – and I do sometimes – she’s more pragmatic and less off the wall than most characters in this show.
OMG she’s gonna die.
VO: Also Mellie and fried chicken are my OTP. Mellie has no more fucks to give and she’s just pissed and angry at Fitz — rather she’s letting her anger let her not give a fuck.
KC: Like I said, I get Mellie, and she’s still being way nicer to him than I would have been. I would have peaced out right after Little Jerry’s funeral.
VO: OK. Can I be real about Cyrus and James for a second? WHEN THE FUCK DID CYRUS GIVE A FUCK ABOUT JAMES? WHEN? I mean, he seemed more consumed by his job and power than James’ welfare. THE MAN TRIED TO HAVE HIS HUSBAND KILLED FOR PETE’S SAKE. So I’m sorry if I side-eye Cyrus for a second.
KC: As soon as he died. Seriously. That is the tragedy of Cy. I think he did love James, but he didn’t know how to love James.
VO: Unless he’s just wanting a warm body around.
KC: It’s partially that, but I think it’s more that he realizes he lost the ONE dude that would put up with him as he is.
VO: Also as he said about a broken heart and measures of cruelty just made me nod. The man is right. And I think that Mellie is right about her being through and Cy may be brokenhearted, but they both are handling it different.
KC: It is different in that Little Jerry, though creepy, was an innocent. Even James was part of the game. Cy knew this, gambled and lost. Though Mellie was involved, she never tried to use her child to leverage power.
VO: I will say I do like that they’re getting back to the case-of-the-week thing because honestly, that’s where the strength of the show also lies. Last season, while some of the B613 stuff was great, it was also a lot of batshit coming at you at once.
KC: I like the show most when its Black Alias, but I do like that its going back to its not as crazy roots.
VO: Hey look! It’s Mandy McConica! (hat-tip to Kristin Bezio for that line when we were at the hotel). Seriously, this dude looks like a weird mix of Andy Garcia and Matthew McConaughey. And he’s chatting up Cyrus. Who desperately wants to get laid, but isn’t ready or something, which just seems so out of character for Cyrus. Not that he wouldn’t want sex, but that he’s be so recalcitrant about it.
KC: His husband did just die. That’s fair.
VO: And I swear, Huck and Quinn are an example of “Be careful what you wish for, for you may get it.” Because I shipped them once, then I got what I wanted and THAT IS NOT THE HUCKLEBERRY QUINN I WANTED.
KC: I BLAME YOU FOR SHIPPING THEM. BLECH. I swear they make me wanna wretch. Incesty.
VO: Any bets as to whether or not Rosen bites it this season? Because if he keeps digging, the man is gonna end up in a grave of his own making. And he’s not as quick in being clever as Olivia. I’m not surprised that he’s trying to get the ball back, but the man’s about as good at it as I am and really, that’s not good.
KC: I hope he doesn’t die, but I do think he’s gonna go to the dark side.
VO: Abby could learn stuff from Cyrus and maybe that’s a good thing because she’s gotten an education from Olivia, but learning stuff from Cyrus could add to her repertoire.
Abby giving Mellie the talking, I think Mellie needed it. And it might be horrible, but Mellie is a politician and if she has that political desire for the future, she has to put the damn dress on and smile for a stupid speech. Honestly, I think it’s a speech Olivia would’ve done and the landing was a little wobbly, but I was all “ABBY’S GROWN UP!”
KC: I wanted to push Abby out of the window for that speech, but she was right. I am not a political animal, and honestly. Maybe Mellie isn’t either. Perhaps the power-hungry First Lady was an act. Or at least something to occupy her time and brain when she became a political wife.
VO: And she has a point — many of us do not get three months to mourn. If we’re lucky we get three weeks, then we have to put the happy face on and pretend everything is all right. Really I think that Mellie was staving off the mourning for as long as possible by wrapping herself up in anger against Fitz and the administration.
Which is why I got why Mellie melted down. You use other emotions and shove those to the forefront instead of taking the time for yourself to break down, to cry, to let go. I really think that she didn’t do that until that night because she couldn’t face it again, if that makes sense.
KC: Many of us don’t, but maybe we should. I still think Mellie’s breakdown – and her owning it – was one of the realest things on this show. Of all the people on the show, she’s been sucking it up the longest: the rape, the cheating. This broke her, and it should have. And she should be angry. #teammellie
VO: I find it funny that the way Mellie broke down is similar in some ways to how Fitz just crumpled to the floor.
Reasons why Fitz is a stupid useless baby otter: He called Abby Gabby. Someday that woman is going to step out of Olivia’s shadow and own a lot of stuff. And maybe she’ll work for Mellie and bury you Fitz. I’m just hoping.
KC: I hate that they are STILL pushing this forbidden love bullshit. I don’t think I will be able to root for Liv again completely until she lets him go for good. And she never will, so…
VO: HI CHARLIE!
KC: WILDCARD, BITCHES. YEEE HAW! I love Charlie
VO: You know they did the whole coat thing to be all “LOOK AT KERRY WASHINGTON! SHE GOT HER BODY BACK! WE DON’T HAVE TO HIDE BEHIND HUGE BAGS ANYMORE!”
KC: I did call that!
VO: OK. Cy’s hair was just him needing to get laid apparently. Jeff Perry standing in his boxers with an open door cracks me up for some reason. I think it’s the vulnerability more than anything else. But I have a hard time believing it given that Cy/Power is the OTP in my head.
KC: Unlike Mellie, yes, Cy does love power more than anything. I am glad that Jeff Perry gets to have sex scenes, sex at all ages and all of that. But I don’t need anymore Cy sex scenes for this entire show anymore. Thank you, and good night.