Chaos in the Trash Pile

By Taylor Plume.

So. Pretty much every diehard Teen Wolf fan has heard the news at this point. Tyler Hoechlin will not be returning as a series regular for season five. That means we won’t get to see much of Derek, our favorite failwolf.

Sad face.
Sad face.

Ian Bohen and J.R. Bourne will not be appearing in ‘the first few’ episodes. Which could mean anything from “Peter is never leaving Eichen House, and Chris is not coming back from his hunt” to “Peter makes another attempt to kill Scott and Chris helps.” I would pay good money to see the latter.

On top of that, everyone’s faith in Scott will be tested. Lydia is the star of the season opening. Stiles is keeping a lot of awful secrets (MY KINGDOM FOR VOID!STILES 2.0). And there’s going to be a new baby wolf played by Cody Christian.

I've been madder.
I’ve been madder.

What do these things mean for the fandom?

Well. The good ship Sterek is on fire. You can hear the screams from miles away. Skittles shippers are equally upset that there’s going to be angst between Stiles and Scott. Fans of Lydia are cautiously happy. Things are looking good for Marrish, since Parrish will be a bigger part of this season. I’ve never met a real person that cared about Stalia? But things seem like they’re gonna be pretty rocky there. Rumors of lots of Mason/Liam angst seem well-grounded, however Jeff is also calling them the new Skittles? Which is sacrilege. I will fight a bitch.

And then, of course, there are problems for anybody that likes the other non-teen minor characters. Peter’s going to be in pretty bad shape if and when he does get released from the supernatural ward. If Jeff turns him into a vegetable again, I swear to god I will break every plate in my house. There’s no news on Kate. So she’ll probably be MIA until her evil is once again deemed necessary to the plot? Unless Chris’ storyline centers on finding her and struggling with killing her. I’d actually be interested in seeing that. There are a lot of unexplored, juicy argent sibling feels to be had.

The tagline for the season is “the rules have changed.” Beyond the promise of new monsters, there’s going to be a lot of internal turmoil.

The brat pack will presumably be graduating by episode twenty. We can only keep our fingers crossed for a ‘graduation day’ that rivals that of Sunnydale High School, the day Buffy was supposed to get her diploma. There’s a lot of noise about things being a clusterfuck. I would tend to agree? Because they’ve been a clusterfuck since the beginning.

Bottom line: teen wolf is an objectively ridiculous show, and although I am sad to see Tyler Hoechlin leaving, I’m glad he’s advancing his career. The gaping hole he will leave in the plot hardly matters when canon is already made of swiss cheese. Things will be all right my children. Don’t fret. Keep calm, and trash on.

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Comments (1)

Ugh, no one said he was leaving – just that he wouldn’t be a series regular for this season as he’s gaining more interest in the industry. It’s unknown at this point whether or not that this is the final season, so it’s entirely possible that there is one season left – plenty of time for Tyler to make a comeback.

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